Is it a case of the Mondays? Or just a long summer coming to an end? Or lack of sleep?!
Probably all three.
This summer I was blessed to be home with our two kids. They're tween/teen age now and spending so much time with them the past three months has been both hard and rewarding. I love those little humans so very much! How they've grown, how amazing they are, how interesting they are is just fascinating to me. My heart swells when I see how far they've come.
They'll be starting school soon which means I'll be able to focus on more things business related: building, advertising, actively recruiting. I'll be honest, this past three months I've let things slip a bit. I've been focusing on my family which of course is important. But I've also been dealing with the shadow of depression here and there.
Depression is so difficult to describe and explain, isn't it? On one hand, you want to be strong and fight it. Sometimes you win! Sometimes you don't. You feel guilty for burdening your family but also resentful that they want you to be happy all the time. You feel tired. Scared. Maybe a little panicked, because honestly, is it going to go away soon or not? You're trying to figure out what triggered it this time but really, depression is always there.
I've found a great deal of help with amazing natural supplements, oils, exercise, and eating right which I'm so grateful for. Yes, there are some days I can barely bring myself to get out of bed and I "forget" to do all the things I know are good for me. My kids have had a lot to do with overcoming that this summer. I don't want them on their iPads, phones, and Xbox all day so I'm going to get up and we're going to do something amazing! And we do: this summer we've fished, vacationed, swam, built things, played games, hung out with grandparents and friends, you name it. It's been a good summer.
But summer is almost over. Maybe I'm a little nervous about what's going to happen when they go back to school. Without their developing brains to worry about stimulating, will I be enough to get myself out of bed? Can I stay on task? Will my husband be resentful that he's working outside the home and I'm not? Will I feel guilty that he's got to face the working world while I work from behind my computer?
As an intuitive introvert empath, feelings are always huge, especially when they're coming from others around me. When low energy emotions come from your inner circle, you find yourself becoming more and more introverted and you internalize more, trying to avoid it. It's an intricate dance as you move around all the feelings while building yourself up. Some days you feel vulnerable - those days are hard. Everything offends you, people accuse you being too sensitive, and you just want to go hide under the blankets. Some days you feel unstoppable and you get SO much done! It's so easy to let things roll of your back. But honestly there is rarely a happy medium.
To all the stay at home moms, work at home women, business builders, intuitive people, and empaths, know that you're not alone. Keep fighting, keep pushing forward, keep hoping, keep an eye on your dreams, and plan your goals. Because even on a bad day, good days are coming soon.
As for me, I'm going to work really hard on being consistent with my self-care, especially when the kids head back to school. There will still be bad days but I hope to keep them to a minimum! <3